Toy Story

By “Toy Story” I am referring to the story of our lives as seen from our inner conversation. We all have one; a story that is. It is the historical account of our lives, the accumulated memories and experiences that become mashed and smashed together, whirled and blended into generalizations, boiled down, rendered into an internal conversation by which we comment on the way we live our life right now. You know this character; it is the one who observes what you do and then passes judgment on it.

As children, we are groomed by reason of our geographic, cultural, family and peer surrounds. It is all quite innocent on a moment to moment basis with the bulk of messages coming into our senses, mental capacity and emotional field unconsciously. I see it more like theme’s than specific messages, although the message is delivered loud and clear, it is the general theme’s we grow up with that go down the deepest and provide the foundation for how we view ourselves and then relate to the world.

As a Life Coach I encounter many “stories” of success and failure. It is a belief I hold and have proven to be true, that I create the reality I live in. The life I have now is predicated solely upon the choices I make and the actions that follow those choices. There is really no getting around that.

I see the genius and spectacular abilities in every client I have ever coached. Each person brings unique abilities and the capacity to be truly amazing. What fascinates me equally is that along with these capacities there is also a “story” that speaks of limitation, victimization or some instance that stands in the way of freedom and total release into ones’ true excellence.

Here described is the heroes’ journey we all face in our lives and we all have to muster the will and conviction to face our demons, our story, and decide which it shall be, which life we really want to create. We have been wounded in our lives and claiming our excellence requires getting through the limitations the wounding impressed upon us.

Facing our history of the past can only truly be effective when it is confronted in a current, real time circumstance. You can plumb the depths of your psyche and drag out all the dirty laundry (the story of your life), which might be helpful from the standpoint of awareness that there is a dragon, but as has been depicted countless times in movies and stories, it is only under real circumstances, in the present moment, where the victory and freedom is won. The heroes journey. Meet a hero called Nick Vujicie. If ever there was a person who had justification to crawl into a hole and disappear he would be it.
clickhere

How is it that there are so many people in the world apparently less fortunate in one way or another than you or I, and yet they have achieved excellence beyond expectations? What sets them free or what holds us back? These people have every excuse imaginable to develop a story of hopelessness and despair, yet find the means to overcome what appear to be impossible odds. These people represent to us that nothing is impossible and that we create our own limitations. Here is another amazing story:
click here

So many handicapped people sink into a hole of despair and depression no doubt aided by those around them who provide pity and sympathy for their condition. Over time, one might begin to believe the “story” they are being fed; to live based on the limitations. The belief that there is a limitation is really the only thing required. Reality forms around the belief, lives are shaped by beliefs. A good strategy when working with a client is to have he / or she look at the people in their life. If surrounded by people who support you with encouragement and inspiration, it will likely serve you well toward breaking free of your story. The story of Patrick Henry Hughes isn’t complete without the devotion and love of his father. He was surrounded by a supportive family and thrived in spite of physical differences, but in no way were those differences limiting.

For those of us with full capacities, our handicaps can be more subtle but the challenge is the same. Meeting the story of our limitations and faults, all our excuses for why we can only be the way we currently are all boils down to fear. There are various shades of fear and some are stopped by the emotion itself, it need not even have a thought attached. Others have fear that is based on the unknowns involved in really stepping into one’s true sense of excellence and self. Change is scary as it involves risk and new experiences. Change can conjure up all manner of what if’s and no amount of thinking or planning can tell you what will actually happen once the challenge of ending the story of your life as you had known it begins.

I am convinced that many people, maybe even most, consider suicide in their lifetimes and I am convinced that this mechanism inside us is there for us to give thought to how and why we do what we do. I would go so far as to say that the compulsion toward suicide is the wakeup call for something profound, but a lot less dramatic than physical death. It is a voice of reason saying to you from the depths of your being that who you have been must go. Not leave the planet, but must be transformed, recreated; it is time for a new chapter in your story. Depression is also such a call that change is necessary. Many of these calls for help in our society are treated with drugs to further suppress the voice inside. Scientific studies will even tell you that your biochemistry causes depression. As I have already said, you create your reality. Any scientific study can be undertaken to find something you are already looking for. In this case a chemical imbalance. Has anyone checked to see how our consciousness might alter our biochemistry and return it to normal?

The story of your life is just that; a story. It can be a tragedy, a comedy, a love story or an action packed adventure. It can be “me the victim”, or the hero, the lover or the warrior, the thinker, the predator or the one who understands that it is all a story. It is the wise one, the one with wisdom who sees and understands, who can play all the roles and at the end of the day, put all the toys back in the toy box.
Meeting and dealing with your personal hero’s journey involves stepping into your fears in real time life situations. Fears can only be overcome in the present moment. There is no tomorrow. There is no fixing the past from a couch. Life is quite merciful and rarely gives us more than we can chew unless we ignore something for too long. At that point something of a more pronounced nature shows up not giving us a choice in the matter. Consider the smoker, drinker, fast food, middle aged person who “suddenly” has a heart attack. All along the path there were hints something was out of balance, shortness of breath, loss of stamina, weight gain, loss of performance and acuity etc. Life sending the message to pause, consider and make profound changes. Unheeded, the heart attack drives the message home.

This world is an amazing place. We live in a matrix where we can choose to create anything under the sun. We have so many examples of people, like the ones I have introduced here, who have gone far beyond expectations. Their formulas for overcoming their stories are similar: clear direction fueled with passion, unrelenting discipline, focus and a great support system. Here are the tools and the formula, the rest is up to you and the choices you make.

Here is one more amazing example ……
click here

Felize Navidad an all that

Happy Holidays and greetings from the Sonora desert here in Mexico!

Right now Ethel and I are enjoying the nice warm days and cool nights here in Hermosillo. Over the last year I have had the opportunity to think quite a bit about the people in my life, both friends and family as living in Mexico makes you all less accessible.

It has been a very full year for me and Ethel. 2010 started out for me with deteriorating mobility and numerous medical exams with the conclusion that both my hips needed to be replaced. Yikes!! As walking became more painful, and walks got shorter and shorter, I did everything to try to put off the inevitable, perfecting the art of procrastination as a tool to avoid the fear of having these major operations. But there is one thing constant pain provides without exception and that is a reminder, albeit excruciating, that in order for life to find normalcy, the risk of having the operation is small compared to the alternative of living a life in pain.

In April 2010 I had my left hip replaced, by a wonderful surgeon and person here in Mexico, Dr Baidon. While there was resulting pain from the operation, it did not compare to the pain I was experiencing before the operation. From the first day after the operation, I was feeling better! My activities over the summer were fairly limited and once I was declared free to return to normal activities (excluding things like running, baseball, cage fighting, combate), I had several months of pretty normal routine. I even played a bit of golf!

Ethel played such a major role in my rehabilitation. She was there 24/7 during and after the operation, feeding, washing, cleaning wounds and ferrying me to physical therapy sessions 6 days a week. The first few weeks included helping me get dressed, take showers and keeping our vegetable garden alive. During all this time Ethel managed to keep her art profession bouncing along as well. Quite an extraordinary woman!
Here she is with her daughter Kati

By September I knew it was time to start thinking about the other hip and on November 15th I had the right hip replaced. I am just now a little over a month into the recovery, having just finished physical therapy. While this recovery seems to be going faster, there is still probably at least 6 weeks until something like normal seems possible. Again, Ethel has really stepped up to the plate and has been invaluable to my healing. This time around she maintained her art class as well as preparing for an exhibition of her work in the new art Museum here in Hermosillo in 2011.

So that’s the short version of 2010. In between operations, I managed to set up several LLC’s and partnerships to purchase condo’s in the Phoenix area. I am hoping to close on the 3rd unit by the end of 2010!

Here’s hoping your 2010 was fruitful and abundant with creative projects, relationships and activities with 2011 providing more of the same opportunities.

Love and blessing to you and I hope I will be able to see you soon!

Feliz Navidad!

Love Don / Ethel

Mexico: The Switzerland of the American Hemisphere?

I was recently told that Mexico has never declared war on anybody and that its foreign policy is basically neutral. After giving this some thought for awhile, I decided to investigate. The first thing I realized was that I had not lived in a country that had never declared war on anybody. While I am sure Mexico has its problems on the international scene, it has never found a good enough reason to want to attack someone on account of a disagreement or even suspected weapons of mass destruction.

In fact the history of this region, long before there was a Mexico as such, indicates there were invasions of all kinds. The Spaniards brought the art form of invasion and pillage from Europe after many centuries of refinement there. Landing in the “New World” and finding out the natives were missing one giant piece of technological advancement that they had (gunpowder), the Spaniards had a field day on a scale never before seen. Wholesale slaughter of kingdoms, and tribes over a whole continent! Score that as one huge victory for really bad karma.

The United States attacked Mexico in 1846 to secure some real estate ranging from Texas, through New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada and right on through to California. After having taken all this land via an unprovoked invasion, the U.S government, possibly out of guilt, wrote a check to Mexico for $15 million which were the closing costs on the real estate deal. By reason of provocations like these, the Mexicans have never really trusted the gringos to the north. Judging by the state of things in those states now, Mexico looks to be on the better side of that deal.

The French and the English also had their day in the “invasion sun” attacking Mexico, and even the Russians gave it some thought at the very same time as the French. In the end both parties decided to call it off to avoid fighting the bigger war between each other.

For Mexico, all these invasions are seen as victories revealing the fact that while Mexico has been beaten around the head and shoulders quite a bit, they have not capitulated to anyone since becoming a nation all their own and declaring independence from Spain in 1810. Their independence war lasted many years until the general of the Spanish army formed an alliance with the “rebel” army and together they fought against Spain. There you have it, Spanish expatriates, siding with the Spanish army to fight Spain. Could it get any better than that? Karma came fast and furious to the Spaniards.

Of course in 1910 yet another revolution took place to overthrow the “monarchy” government that had been in charge since the first revolution. But what does this all mean? What it means is that while Mexico has been neutral in the sphere of international politics, it is no stranger to fighting wars, albeit wars against fellow Mexicans. To be fair, the revolutions were mostly wars between groups of expatriated Spaniards (much like the gringos to the north), but to Mexico’s credit a 20th century that can be characterized on the world’s stage as a century of wars, finds Mexico sitting for the most part as an observer.

Eventually though the infection of war on a global scale caught hold and Mexico in a fit of hysteria felt that it just had to declare war on something, after all everyone seems to be doing it so it must be right. With that in mind Mexico searched for who or what it could dazzle with its army. Based on historical research the leaders decided to do what had been done so well in years past and so they declared war on themselves yet again. You know I am referring to the War on Drugs. You have seen the figures, over 20,000 casualties in the last few years.

The idea of declaring war on “things” may not have been invented in Mexico or even in the U.S. (I really do not want to research this), but the U.S. has certainly had its share of declared wars against poverty, drugs, crime and civil rights to name a few. It is of note, that while the United States has had some modicum of success (define success) declaring wars on other countries, it has had a dismal record in the four “wars” I just mentioned. Mexico seems to be following a similar path with its war on drugs.

The most glaring reason to me why these wars on “things” do not work out so well is that there is no signal for victory. How would Mexico know the war on drugs is over, if in fact it ever was over? Would the cartels voluntarily lay down their arms (and drugs), giving up multibillion dollar businesses, then kiss and make up? Someone please explain to me who would not be tempted to pick up the vacuum created by such an act? Even the initiatives in the U.S. to eradicate, drugs, crime, civil rights and poverty if they did have goals to indicate when the wars were over, they did a poor public relations job letting the U.S population in the loop.

I do not want to be the pessimist here. I would be thrilled to see the Mexican government have a ceremony with the beaten drug lords on an aircraft carrier in the Sea of Japan signing a peace treaty, or how about the last person to emerge from poverty being invited to officially declare the war over as they ring the bell on the N.Y stock exchange? I cannot help but visualize the end of the war on crime from a prison cell where we all now reside. Or would that victory be signified by everyone being let out of prison?

The one gleaming beacon we can say we won is the war on civil rights. Isn’t that right? It must have been won, after all there is a black man living in the White House. Racism is now a thing of the past. Hmmmmm, maybe the jury is still out on that victory. What do you think?